Misgivings

You paint and I ride the curve of that letter

Spirituality is where the well is 

Dry tears and split hearts 

If I unpack the earth then how will we know what will grow 

The thing is these seeds are unrecognisable

These words have merged into the same end point 

There is no thirst where we have been consumed 

A heart is not a heart when split in two 

Drift

You drift back to old dreams, and try to pull the fallen light into reality. Here where your flesh wrote and your heart felt, you've left something of yourself.  If I told you where I'd been the people I met , the things I'd seen. Look at me, would you still look at me. These black hearts and eloquent tongues pave paths we aren't worthy of walking.

Apt

Dear readers / assalamu alaikum

I didn't achieve even 1% of what I set out to do when I made this blog.  For reasons that are somewhat painful to explain I will no longer be writing poetry . I just want to apologise to all the people I haven't replied to/ kept in contact with properly - I don't really have any excuse just shortcomings in character.

Alhamdulillah I am well for those who have asked.

Please remember to make dua for yourselves, God listens to the one who is need .  

I feel like I've been watching home videos , you know the ones that are slightly lopsided and the colour is fading at the edges. And this is the last reel of tape.

Gardens within Gardens

Life is bitter but God is sweet
All the endings are rewritten to have twice what we leave
Oh dweller of the grave speak
Gave away your world
Six foot deep remorse
Thus your return was peace , complete

( in reference to an old favourite )

Dua

I am grateful for the sadness

That bloomed into their joy 

This is what I asked for 

I mutter prayers so only God can hear me 

Between all the mundane happenings of living

The sky has been all the shades of bluebells recently

I've written beautiful things in untraceable ink 

The corners of their smiles don't know their own roots 

Imam shafi said about the arrows in the night 

They've been orbiting you since before you knew 

...

Are you afraid of sadness
Do you think that this will be like the heavy rains you once knew
The type that mould the earth they land on

In my mind there is a bench of iron
Sat beneath bubblegum cherry blossom
A little girl is singing her voice sounds like tears

I have happy poems beneath a thumb and a finger
Between promises of a tomorrow that is sweeter than today

I see beauty and it swells in my heart
it overfills , spills onto grey pavements
Moments I can't keep , can't share

If my eyes are a prism
Then I am looking for space for all this light

..

Apne kushi meh sab ko takleef deeya.

 Distorted and bruised , the heart still feels what it feels.

My safe space is getting smaller and smaller and I've been folding in on myself like dark matter.

My fingertips are blue because of the cold, because I am tired , because simple living evades me , because there is nowhere to unpackage these dreams. But second skins never shined so bright.

' They passed right by and never knew'