Ramble

Compromise is unutterable , an ugly, heavy word, forming uncomfortably in the small print.

It was not my intention to write this here , to write this , to write.

Sometimes I wonder at the paradox of principle . The excellence in the grandiose , the simplicity in excellence . I demean the latter despite lacking the moral fibre to achieve it.

When I think of compromise , I think of betrayal and the bitterness of that gives way to humanity. A compromise rooted in betrayal rooted in compromise.

Life has always been full circle and never quite straight lines .

Are you feeding a hypocrisy ? Or are you trying to shirk your responsibilities ? An old friend told me to give back , I give aghast at the quality of that which I have to give.

Most days I think of the brevity of life.  My bones ache in loss , I trade in loss , I meet and greet in loss , I walk in loss.

She told me that ' every soul is continually tasting death'

I don't stop here. I don't stop at the edge of every unique reality to remind myself there is an optimum . A perfection in the handling of every moment.

We are so intertwined that it has become our detachment . Our pale faced denial.

Do you value love and progress and goodness more than vulnerability. Why is it so often a hidden pride masking all our wounds ?

Dear world, this is where I fell. Do not fall here too.

Numb

Tell me where it is supposed to hurt
On which wound should my tears sting
If all my veins are lined with hypocrisy
Maybe I sold my soul too cheap
Took a faith as fleeting
Can't even pinpoint where
Did it all go wrong ?

I sit with my old self on rainy days
One foot in the grave , a heart filled with dust
Of shame

Its strange

Maybe my mind is fire
That my limbs will taste

Perhaps your words made knots in my fate

Tell me where do I begin
Crave a silence too deep for a body to withstand
Bound to that which isn't sacrificed
Sacrificed along with that which isn't bound

Forgive me for misendeavors
The vilified victim , the victimized villain
The lines blur to no discernible end

It's strange

Tell me something I do not know -
But make me understand