On Beauty and Weddings

Sorry about the distinct lack of poetry here . I'm Asian and there was wedding going on ... so yeh. Note the use of the word 'Asian' , I'm still hoping that I get invited to a muslim wedding sometime soon because I'm beginning to lose hope in weddings altogether.

Part One
They were magazine cover people
Also known as uncovered with eyes
Lashes reaching ceilings and heels helping too
This pseudo segregation is disappointing
The cameraman is male go figure
Hugging clothes and egos
Who did not know which way
The Qiblah is,
They tried I suppose
Only really to accentuate
Waists and not words ,
Oh and waste they did the time
These ears complain that the person with the duff
Looks too middle aged and bearded to be a young girl
Confused yet, well you're not the only one
It is strange how my eyes say
This is the works, one hour late and beautiful
But my soul rejects, they are not
Even I am surprised at how ugly they really are

There is ugliness in the hypocrisy
Breaking of families , strategic seating
And false smiles,your almost politically
Planned greetings are ugly
It is written on your faces
So take it how you will
You are vile in a most unconventional way

Desi

Her tears sting my eyes

This culture is rancid, vile
A few self righteous facades
After which anything is game
Unreturned greetings and sideway
Remarks while seating you away
From ears come tales of belittlement
A white child with big eyes
She had it all , no longer
Does it matter but to the world it does
These village people have wild ideas
Of keeping the marriage close
To protect or to fear excessively
They lie and they cheat but veiled
Meaninglessly
Its see through

To be muslim
Is all I ever needed
Asians and their cricket teams
Stereotypes broken true
We are so much more than
Squiggly lines drawn on maps
Why have we become the sum of
Made up rules , societal pressure
Leaves in its wake sleep deprived fools
I'm hitting a straight drive beyond faces who
Never knew but were always told

Is there any reward for good other than good?
Qur'an, 55/60

"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female,
And made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other
(Not that ye despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight
of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well-acquainted (with all things)."
Quran 49:13

Sorry

I'm sorry
I didn't realize how alone you became
Didn't know that everybody left one by one
That you had to hold on to this
Because it was all you had left

To prise open your palms and place
There were much better things I'd
Assumed you'd find somewhere down the line
I would have stayed but I was too afraid of
Sins staring blatantly shoving into the foreground
I was shaking at the thought of seeing
But you, all this time were living
This sin on repeat
I'm sorry

You have no idea what your doing to yourself. There are people who have been there and done that and told the world how awful it was. I know that one day you'll realize what I'm saying but by then, it will be too late. You would have felt the pain, the loss, the hurt. Despite that there is hope, a hope that I pray you will find in yourself too. A hope for greater things. A hope that will burst through on a Friday afternoon with the question 'what am I doing?'

The Story of a young man who spoke from his grave
Imam Ibn Askair al-Shafi`I [d.571A.H] narrates with the following chain of narration:
[Tarikh Damishq, Vol 45, p.450]

Abul Hasan Ali bin al Muslim from Abdul Aziz bin bin Ahmed from Abu Muhammed bin Abi Nasr from his father abu Ali from Abdul Wahab al Maydani from Abu Nasr bin al Jabban who said that he heard from Abu Suleiman bin Zabar from Abul Hasan Umar bin Jam’a bin amr al kufi from Imarn bin Musa al Tartusi from Abu Saleh from Yahya bin Ayyub al-Khazai that :During the caliphate of Sayyedina Umar ibn Khattab ( radi Allah ‘anhu) there was a young man who used to spend his time worshiping and praying in masjid . Umar ( radi Allah ‘anhu) was very happy with him. The man used to perform isha (night) prayers and used to come back to his old father. On this way, there was a house of a woman who liked this young man. The woman used to stand on his way. One day the woman ensnared the young man and he followed her. When they both reached at the door of the woman’s house, the young man started remembering Allah .The following verses came out from his tongue: [Al Araf, 201; 7:201]
إِنَّ الَّذِينَ اتَّقَوْا إِذَا مَسَّهُمْ طَائِفٌ مِّنَ الشَّيْطَانِ تَذَكَّرُوا فَإِذَا هُم مُّبْصِرُونَ
    Those who fear Allah when a thought of evil from satan assaults them bring Allah to remembrance when lo! they see (aright)! 
The young man became unconscious and fell down. The woman called her maid; they both lifted the young man and dropped him at his door. The family members of the young man lifted him and took him inside the house. At late night the man became conscious. When his father inquired him about the incidence, the young man narrated the entire incidence. The father asked him: O my son! Which verses ( ayat) did you recite? The man repeated the verse and again became unconscious and fell down. The family members tried to revoke his consciousness, but he was dead. They washed his dead body and buried him. In the morning when the news reached Umar ( radi Allah ‘anhu) he came to his father for condolence and asked as to why was he not informed ? The father told him that as it was night, they did not inform. Umar (radi Allah ‘anhu) said: “Take me to his grave”. Umar (radi Allah ‘anhu) and his companions reached at the grave of that young man.
Umar (radi Allah ‘amhu ) said: “ O young man! ولمن خاف مقام ربه جنتان (Whosoever feared to stand in front of his Lord then there are two gardens for him,55:46) The man replied two times from his grave: O Umar! My Lord has given me two gardens, inside garden.

Read My Mind

I wrote you a letter in my mind
Imagining your face as I read it like
A voice over in some dramatic movie
My handwriting scrawled and loopy
What it was like for me just
So you could know my
Perspective
Oh how I wrote
Oh how I dream to speak

The Prophet stated, “The believer is like a mirror to other believers (in truthfulness).”
Abu Dawud

Top Ten Hijaabi Fashion Tips

Oh hijaab, the mother of all topics...

1) Don't wear bright red nail varnish . Nail varnish and hijaab is just not a good look . Perhaps go for more natural shades ( i.e your natural shade)  at least it won't mess with your wudhu and you won't have to be the last one to go and pray because you spent half an hour trying to remove it . Late, dazed, stinking of nail varnish remover isn't the kind of trend you want to set in the masajid

2)The maxi dress. Do go flowwy try a little colour but please stick the neon and the wild prints on your 'I'm going to try to wear hijaab properly' sign. Mind you some  of them are are really see through, wear something baggy underneath  otherwise its like you just walked out in tights.Or better yet an abaya or a khimar would really do the job properly

3) Undercaps are your friends . If your old school ( like me) you may risk going without it otherwise its staple hijaab wear. It keeps those strands of modesty tucked away neatly. Word of warning please, please don't tie it too tight your ears have a right on you too! Unless you like seeing clumps of hair fall out when you take your hijaab off

4) The chin pin - my old foe. Theres nothing like a safety pin sitting snugly beneath your chin right? Wrong. The chin pin is a wholly unnecessary irritant that brings the risk of neck scarring with it

5) The shoes. Even the shoes. Yes the shoes. Buy whatever shoes you like within reason but please factor in time taken to put shoes on and take them off especially on days when your tight squeezed to find time for salaah. Seriously those pair of boots could be the difference between khushoo and the two minute sprint saalah ( if we can call that salaah)

6) If there is anything that speaks louder than your clothing then its your mouth.Yes I know its a toughie may Allah give us all strength to rectify our condition. But we need to be weeding out those unnecessary conversations if you catch my drift.

7)Ears, hair,shoes and well of course it has to be necks. We're all told about covering your head and your body but the neck seems to get lost somewhere in between. Whether it's see through or deliberately draped its not particularly flattering to your hayaa  with scarfs that leave little to are too little. This is a small practical step that we can take to improving our hijaab. Remember a see through hijaab is permissible so long as the fold makes it opaque

8)Brooches, rings and sparkly things. As a women I have to say we need to stop behaving like magpies. There are actually rulings on this in terms of how many rings or bracelets you can wear or if you can wear them at all but I think in some( I emphasize some rare) circumstances you can deem what is appropriate. If you find that an undue proportion of men are staring at the mahoosive rock on your finger( or even if they aren't) it may be time to reconsider

9)Some of the best fashion statements are made by loud, confident individuals. We've seen the age of the bright red lipstick the bizarre haircuts and questionable clothing. Faith over fashion. Don't cower away in embarrassment because your wearing the dreaded hijaab you should exude confidence. A kind of natural confidence that pours forth because your comfortable in knowing that what you wear pleases the one who created you. It is a shy and retiring grace and a loud statement of faith it is ultimately a balance as with all things.

10) Wrap it. It is the over complication of hijaab which has been its downfall. We are wearing two , three or even more scarfs and yet our bodies are not covered. Be easy on yourself fellow sister just wrap your scarf draw your cloak , smile and be done with it.

General Advice
-Carry extra safety pins
- Secure your scarf properly on windy days
-Don't wear a scarf with a thousand tassels in a lab. In general scarves are not a fire hazard but tassels get stuck everywhere from zips to Bunsen burners
-You don't need to iron a crinkle scarf( you'd be surprised at the amount of people who don't know this)
- Don't over complicate things by making unnecessary lists (whoops, seems like I did it again)
- Don't be the sister who wears hijaab and sins publicly. Don't get me wrong we are still human and we do make mistakes but don't be the sister to publicly drink and smoke etc . Don't be the reason that other unhijaabed sisters say ' well why should I wear a hijaab at least I don't do xyz'

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their khimār over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husband, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments.
Quran 24:31

Those who harass believing men and believing women undeservedly, bear (on themselves) a calumny and a grievous sin. O Prophet! Enjoin your wives, your daughters, and the wives of true believers that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): That is most convenient, that they may be distinguished and not be harassed. [...]
Quran 33:58–59

Oh and final note , if you're considering to wear hijaab but you don't see the point as in you're already a good person this is just a gentle reminder. Allow the goodness of your heart to pour into your actions and allow it to encompass your sitting, your talking, your waking, your sleeping, your eating, your clothing for the sake of the One who fashioned you.

To Keep a Promise

Do not mistake these steps of haste for hate
This sadness in my eyes refuses to penetrate through
Facades built so readily
And our fake smiles and uncomfortable hellos
After months of nothingness would break me

Whenever your ready
I'll blot out this unfortunate history
And we'll begin anew
It's normally about now I remind
That I am still waiting for you
Because I promised no matter what
That I would

You were red faced and I was surprised at your reaction . My naivety about the situation most likely shining through in perplexed looks. You were quick to add that it is no longer, tripping over words and I , I had no reason not to believe you. So I reassured that it was fine and it was so easy for you to lie to me but thats beside the point.You kept going on about how its changed , about everything in grave detail and yet in none. I was bewildered. Could you really not comprehend that I didn't mind so long as improvement came surely and steadily , after all I was in a similar boat,we all were. You still continued, still red faced and I...

"It's not that big a deal sis. I mean like you said it was a long time ago and things have changed. I'm sorry I brought it up I didn't mean to embarrass you, you have to understand sis. You have to understand this one thing it doesn't matter what you do and I really mean it,no matter whatever you do I will still forgive you and I'll still be here. Thats the whole point , thats how it works we're sisters after all"

I spent a long time thinking after that.Grand ideas in books of bonds beyond the blood never seem so grand when I fail to put them into practice properly. Why could she not see that I was struggling too , that I needed support , that her trying would always be more than good enough for me, that she didn't need to hide, or be ashamed and that sisterhood transcends most anything. Now I look back and I wonder why she lied and how that would become the premise of all destruction that came and tearful eyes and wakeful nights.

I don't

I don't want to talk about marriage
Half your deen with him but you
Carry half on your shoulders too
And there is no means
So where should I stem this dream
From empty pressures from you

To give up education though it is fardh*
To beautify unnecessarily
To give up a world for him when he
He is not my God
He is not the source of love
And I am amazed that you ask me to
Plan my life around someone who may never come
And yes this is the sunnah
We should aim to get married young
But its obligatory to fulfill the rights
My rights and his neither do I know
And to make marriage my goal, to make it
More than an institution to make it a home
In degrees it is fine but isn't it out of line
To expect of him but not yourself

This blanket of false security
That his beard will swish you into piety
Is overlooking responsibility
By all means get married
If you have the means
If you know what it means
If your priority is the deen
But don't imply to me that I should refrain
From all things worldly in attempt to regain some piety
Because apparently my focus is my career as
I have dared to apply to university

You don't know me or my circumstance. Neither do you care for me of my circumstance. And I write to advise others this unhealthy of obsession with becoming a trophy wife is just that unhealthy.


Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.
Surah An nur

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the remaining half."
authenticated by Al-Albani

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah

"The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim."
Al-Tirmidhi

NB *Marriage shouldn't be delayed for education as married life should not interfere with education as such. I was merely pointing out a trend in stopping education prematurely with the vague hope of getting married despite having no proposal/means to get married