Compulsion

I know she says repeatedly
But she won't, she can't,she claims

Our love is a fatal obsession with our
Hearts caught beneath the tide
And to drink without thirst
Is to seek without need
As we drown beneath superficiality

There are gaps in our hearts
Little pieces of muscle worn
Away due to lack of use
We plaster walls with the sludge of sin
Temporary fixes drip
Stuck to the bottom of our shoes
We trudge, enveloped
As we drag it to every corner of our life
The footsteps merge together
No knowledge of how it got to this
The blackness drops from the ceiling
Onto darkened foreheads

It is when windows of opportunity open
That we in our dumbfound state
Cannot help but wince
At the incoming light

“…Surely sins are like the seeds of fruits that always bear like fruits. Some of the Salaaf have said that indeed the punishment for committing a sin is that one is compelled to commit sin again, and the reward for performing good deeds is the guidance to follow that up with yet another good deed. This singular action of doing a good deed bears a series of good deeds and in turn one’s profits multiply. Similarly sins accumulates more sins and begin to take shape and permanence in one’s character.
If a pious person were to leave a good deed, he would feel confined and constricted, though he lives in a world of vast magnitude. Much like a fish out of water. The soul finds rest only in the tides of moral decency. So it is the same for the sinner, who finds comfort only in the familiarity and repetition of an old sin. He, too, feels the same sense of longing as the righteous person does. He sins not for pleasure that is derived from it, but to pacify the pain that being away from it brings”
Ibn Qayyim [Ad-Da' Wad-Dawa']