Monday, 3 June 2013

The Heaviness of a Heart

There is a heaviness
In my bones I think
There is a weight that chokes

Little parts of me are dying
They say sometimes
You dig your own grave
And sins stick like dirt
To the tips of my fingers
And there is hurt everywhere I look
I am scared of my grave
Scared what I've dug for myself
This worldly life absorbs
Deeper, deeper still
I am so far below
It chokes, it chokes

Everyday is a little closer
They will say goodbye to me for the last time
And I will close my eyes for the last time
My chest will heave for the last time

Regrets pile to the point of suffocation
And life dies into idle afternoons
I am trying to be good, well behaved
Cross legged on carpets,fingers touch the lips
But it so easy to forget
But I am slipping ever closer
To try harder she says
But it is harder than I thought
This heart of mine

On the authority of Ibrāhīm (رحمه الله تعالى) who said, “Once ‘A’ishah passed by a tree and she said,
‘I wish I was a leaf of this tree.’”
[Kitāb az-Zuhd (345/10]

The Sins of a Soul


  1. Thanks for the comment you made on my blog, never apologize for being religious :)
    I didnt know that blog was open, its sort of a secret diary of mine and thanks to you I know it was not set on private. Alhamdulilah

    Reading this I could feel my face burning up... and sweating from the anxiety I feel like this was written for me.

    1. Thank you , really , really thank you for saying that . It means so much to me when people let me be who I am even if its just a passing a comment , I appreciate it.

      May Allah have mercy on us all . I wrote this about myself but I guess we are in need of forgiveness <3

  2. Beautiful and striking reminder. How often we forget that we will someday have to face the grave and the hereafter. May Allah have mercy on us, Ameen.