Monday, 31 December 2012

On Beauty and Weddings

Sorry about the distinct lack of poetry here . I'm Asian and there was wedding going on ... so yeh. Note the use of the word 'Asian' , I'm still hoping that I get invited to a muslim wedding sometime soon because I'm beginning to lose hope in weddings altogether.

Part One

They were magazine cover people
Also known as uncovered with eyes
Lashes reaching ceilings and heels helping too
This pseudo segregation is disappointing
The cameraman is male go figure
Hugging clothes and egos
Who did not know which way
The Qiblah is,
They tried I suppose
Only really to accentuate
Waists and not words ,
Oh and waste they did the time
These ears complain that the person with the duff
Looks too middle aged and bearded to be a young girl
Confused yet, well you're not the only one
It is strange how my eyes say
This is the works, one hour late and beautiful
But my soul rejects, they are not
Even I am surprised at how ugly they really are

There is ugliness in the hypocrisy
Breaking of families , strategic seating
And false smiles,your almost politically
Planned greetings are ugly
It is written on your faces
So take it how you will
You are vile in a most unconventional way

Tuesday, 25 December 2012


Her tears sting my eyes

This culture is rancid, vile
A few self righteous facades
After which anything is game
Unreturned greetings and sideway
Remarks while seating you away
From ears come tales of belittlement
A white child with big eyes
She had it all , no longer
Does it matter but to the world it does
These village people have wild ideas
Of keeping the marriage close
To protect or to fear excessively
They lie and they cheat but veiled
Its see through

To be muslim
Is all I ever needed
Asians and their cricket teams
Stereotypes broken true
We are so much more than
Squiggly lines drawn on maps
Why have we become the sum of
Made up rules , societal pressure
Leaves in its wake sleep deprived fools
I'm hitting a straight drive beyond faces who
Never knew but were always told

Is there any reward for good other than good?
Qur'an, 55/60

"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female,
And made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other
(Not that ye despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight
of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well-acquainted (with all things)."

Quran 49:13

Monday, 24 December 2012


I'm sorry
I didn't realize how alone you became
Didn't know that everybody left one by one
That you had to hold on to this
Because it was all you had left

To prise open your palms and place
There were much better things I'd
Assumed you'd find somewhere down the line
I would have stayed but I was too afraid of
Sins staring blatantly shoving into the foreground
I was shaking at the thought of seeing
But you, all this time were living
This sin on repeat
I'm sorry

You have no idea what your doing to yourself. There are people who have been there and done that and told the world how awful it was. I know that one day you'll realize what I'm saying but by then, it will be too late. You would have felt the pain, the loss, the hurt. Despite that there is hope, a hope that I pray you will find in yourself too. A hope for greater things. A hope that will burst through on a Friday afternoon with the question 'what am I doing?'

The Story of a young man who spoke from his grave
Imam Ibn Askair al-Shafi`I [d.571A.H] narrates with the following chain of narration:
[Tarikh Damishq, Vol 45, p.450]

Abul Hasan Ali bin al Muslim from Abdul Aziz bin bin Ahmed from Abu Muhammed bin Abi Nasr from his father abu Ali from Abdul Wahab al Maydani from Abu Nasr bin al Jabban who said that he heard from Abu Suleiman bin Zabar from Abul Hasan Umar bin Jam’a bin amr al kufi from Imarn bin Musa al Tartusi from Abu Saleh from Yahya bin Ayyub al-Khazai that :
During the caliphate of Sayyedina Umar ibn Khattab ( radi Allah ‘anhu) there was a young man who used to spend his time worshiping and praying in masjid . Umar ( radi Allah ‘anhu) was very happy with him. The man used to perform isha (night) prayers and used to come back to his old father. On this way, there was a house of a woman who liked this young man. The woman used to stand on his way. One day the woman ensnared the young man and he followed her. When they both reached at the door of the woman’s house, the young man started remembering Allah .The following verses came out from his tongue: [Al Araf, 201; 7:201]
إِنَّ الَّذِينَ اتَّقَوْا إِذَا مَسَّهُمْ طَائِفٌ مِّنَ الشَّيْطَانِ تَذَكَّرُوا فَإِذَا هُم مُّبْصِرُونَ

    Those who fear Allah when a thought of evil from satan assaults them bring Allah to remembrance when lo! they see (aright)! 
The young man became unconscious and fell down. The woman called her maid; they both lifted the young man and dropped him at his door. The family members of the young man lifted him and took him inside the house. At late night the man became conscious. When his father inquired him about the incidence, the young man narrated the entire incidence. The father asked him: O my son! Which verses ( ayat) did you recite? The man repeated the verse and again became unconscious and fell down. The family members tried to revoke his consciousness, but he was dead. They washed his dead body and buried him. In the morning when the news reached Umar ( radi Allah ‘anhu) he came to his father for condolence and asked as to why was he not informed ? The father told him that as it was night, they did not inform. Umar (radi Allah ‘anhu) said: “Take me to his grave”. Umar (radi Allah ‘anhu) and his companions reached at the grave of that young man.
Umar (radi Allah ‘amhu ) said: “ O young man!
ولمن خاف مقام ربه جنتان (Whosoever feared to stand in front of his Lord then there are two gardens for him,55:46) The man replied two times from his grave: O Umar! My Lord has given me two gardens, inside garden.

Sunday, 23 December 2012

Read My Mind

I wrote you a letter in my mind
Imagining your face as I read it like
A voice over in some dramatic movie
My handwriting scrawled and loopy
What it was like for me just
So you could know my
Oh how I wrote
Oh how I dream to speak

The Prophet stated, “The believer is like a mirror to other believers (in truthfulness).”
Abu Dawud

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Top Ten Hijaabi Fashion Tips

Oh hijaab, the mother of all topics...

1) Don't wear bright red nail varnish . Nail varnish and hijaab is just not a good look . Perhaps go for more natural shades ( i.e your natural shade)  at least it won't mess with your wudhu and you won't have to be the last one to go and pray because you spent half an hour trying to remove it . Late, dazed, stinking of nail varnish remover isn't the kind of trend you want to set in the masajid

2)The maxi dress. Do go flowwy try a little colour but please stick the neon and the wild prints on your 'I'm going to try to wear hijaab properly' sign. Mind you some  of them are are really see through, wear something baggy underneath  otherwise its like you just walked out in tights.Or better yet an abaya or a khimar would really do the job properly

3) Undercaps are your friends . If your old school ( like me) you may risk going without it otherwise its staple hijaab wear. It keeps those strands of modesty tucked away neatly. Word of warning please, please don't tie it too tight your ears have a right on you too! Unless you like seeing clumps of hair fall out when you take your hijaab off

4) The chin pin - my old foe. Theres nothing like a safety pin sitting snugly beneath your chin right? Wrong. The chin pin is a wholly unnecessary irritant that brings the risk of neck scarring with it

5) The shoes. Even the shoes. Yes the shoes. Buy whatever shoes you like within reason but please factor in time taken to put shoes on and take them off especially on days when your tight squeezed to find time for salaah. Seriously those pair of boots could be the difference between khushoo and the two minute sprint saalah ( if we can call that salaah)

6) If there is anything that speaks louder than your clothing then its your mouth.Yes I know its a toughie may Allah give us all strength to rectify our condition. But we need to be weeding out those unnecessary conversations if you catch my drift.

7)Ears, hair,shoes and well of course it has to be necks. We're all told about covering your head and your body but the neck seems to get lost somewhere in between. Whether it's see through or deliberately draped its not particularly flattering to your hayaa  with scarfs that leave little to are too little. This is a small practical step that we can take to improving our hijaab. Remember a see through hijaab is permissible so long as the fold makes it opaque

8)Brooches, rings and sparkly things. As a women I have to say we need to stop behaving like magpies. There are actually rulings on this in terms of how many rings or bracelets you can wear or if you can wear them at all but I think in some( I emphasize some rare) circumstances you can deem what is appropriate. If you find that an undue proportion of men are staring at the mahoosive rock on your finger( or even if they aren't) it may be time to reconsider

9)Some of the best fashion statements are made by loud, confident individuals. We've seen the age of the bright red lipstick the bizarre haircuts and questionable clothing. Faith over fashion. Don't cower away in embarrassment because your wearing the dreaded hijaab you should exude confidence. A kind of natural confidence that pours forth because your comfortable in knowing that what you wear pleases the one who created you. It is a shy and retiring grace and a loud statement of faith it is ultimately a balance as with all things.

10) Wrap it. It is the over complication of hijaab which has been its downfall. We are wearing two , three or even more scarfs and yet our bodies are not covered. Be easy on yourself fellow sister just wrap your scarf draw your cloak , smile and be done with it.

General Advice
-Carry extra safety pins
- Secure your scarf properly on windy days
-Don't wear a scarf with a thousand tassels in a lab. In general scarves are not a fire hazard but tassels get stuck everywhere from zips to Bunsen burners
-You don't need to iron a crinkle scarf( you'd be surprised at the amount of people who don't know this)
- Don't over complicate things by making unnecessary lists (whoops, seems like I did it again)
- Don't be the sister who wears hijaab and sins publicly. Don't get me wrong we are still human and we do make mistakes but don't be the sister to publicly drink and smoke etc . Don't be the reason that other unhijaabed sisters say ' well why should I wear a hijaab at least I don't do xyz'

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their khimār over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husband, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments.
Quran 24:31

Those who harass believing men and believing women undeservedly, bear (on themselves) a calumny and a grievous sin. O Prophet! Enjoin your wives, your daughters, and the wives of true believers that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): That is most convenient, that they may be distinguished and not be harassed. [...]
Quran 33:58–59

Oh and final note , if you're considering to wear hijaab but you don't see the point as in you're already a good person this is just a gentle reminder. Allow the goodness of your heart to pour into your actions and allow it to encompass your sitting, your talking, your waking, your sleeping, your eating, your clothing for the sake of the One who fashioned you.

Friday, 21 December 2012

To Keep a Promise

Do not mistake these steps of haste for hate
This sadness in my eyes refuses to penetrate through
Facades built so readily
And our fake smiles and uncomfortable hellos
After months of nothingness would break me

Whenever your ready
I'll blot out this unfortunate history
And we'll begin anew
It's normally about now I remind
That I am still waiting for you
Because I promised no matter what
That I would

You were red faced and I was surprised at your reaction . My naivety about the situation most likely shining through in perplexed looks. You were quick to add that it is no longer, tripping over words and I , I had no reason not to believe you. So I reassured that it was fine and it was so easy for you to lie to me but thats beside the point.You kept going on about how its changed , about everything in grave detail and yet in none. I was bewildered. Could you really not comprehend that I didn't mind so long as improvement came surely and steadily , after all I was in a similar boat,we all were. You still continued, still red faced and I...

"It's not that big a deal sis. I mean like you said it was a long time ago and things have changed. I'm sorry I brought it up I didn't mean to embarrass you, you have to understand sis. You have to understand this one thing it doesn't matter what you do and I really mean it,no matter whatever you do I will still forgive you and I'll still be here. Thats the whole point , thats how it works we're sisters after all"

I spent a long time thinking after that.Grand ideas in books of bonds beyond the blood never seem so grand when I fail to put them into practice properly. Why could she not see that I was struggling too , that I needed support , that her trying would always be more than good enough for me, that she didn't need to hide, or be ashamed and that sisterhood transcends most anything. Now I look back and I wonder why she lied and how that would become the premise of all destruction that came and tearful eyes and wakeful nights.

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

I don't

I don't want to talk about marriage
Half your deen with him but you
Carry half on your shoulders too
And there is no means
So where should I stem this dream
From empty pressures from you

To give up education though it is fardh*
To beautify unnecessarily
To give up a world for him when he
He is not my God
He is not the source of love
And I am amazed that you ask me to
Plan my life around someone who may never come
And yes this is the sunnah
We should aim to get married young
But its obligatory to fulfill the rights
My rights and his neither do I know
And to make marriage my goal, to make it
More than an institution to make it a home
In degrees it is fine but isn't it out of line
To expect of him but not yourself

This blanket of false security
That his beard will swish you into piety
Is overlooking responsibility
By all means get married
If you have the means
If you know what it means
If your priority is the deen
But don't imply to me that I should refrain
From all things worldly in attempt to regain some piety
Because apparently my focus is my career as
I have dared to apply to university

You don't know me or my circumstance. Neither do you care for me of my circumstance. And I write to advise others this unhealthy of obsession with becoming a trophy wife is just that unhealthy.

Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.
Surah An nur

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the remaining half."
authenticated by Al-Albani

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah

"The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim."

NB *Marriage shouldn't be delayed for education as married life should not interfere with education as such. I was merely pointing out a trend in stopping education prematurely with the vague hope of getting married despite having no proposal/means to get married

For all Things Happy

There is beautiful poetry and happiness in here
In my attempts to express I have not done justice
To it or myself
Who am I to say Islam is beautiful?
Who am I to describe that final breath when reading Quran?
Who am I to tell the tales of a journey in sujood?
Perhaps a thousand poems later I could find
Within myself the qualities to make me worthy
Until then I can only write about life
Without grasping this way fully
About shortcomings, failures , silent prayers to improve
And testify to the melancholy that drifts along
When you have forgotten God and now
You are forgotten too

And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind."He will say, "My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?"[ Allah ] will say, "Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten."And thus do We recompense he who transgressed and did not believe in the signs of his Lord. And the punishment of the Hereafter is more severe and more enduring.

Then, has it not become clear to them how many generations We destroyed before them as they walk among their dwellings? Indeed in that are signs for those of intelligence.And if not for a word that preceded from your Lord, punishment would have been an obligation [due immediately], and [if not for] a specified term [decreed].

So be patient over what they say and exalt [ Allah ] with praise of your Lord before the rising of the sun and before its setting; and during periods of the night [exalt Him] and at the ends of the day, that you may be satisfied.And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them.And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.And enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be steadfast therein. We ask you not for provision; We provide for you, and the [best] outcome is for [those of] righteousness.

And they say, "Why does he not bring us a sign from his Lord?" Has there not come to them evidence of what was in the former scriptures?And if We had destroyed them with a punishment before him, they would have said, "Our Lord, why did You not send to us a messenger so we could have followed Your verses before we were humiliated and disgraced?"Say, "Each [of us] is waiting; so wait. For you will know who are the companions of the sound path and who is guided."
Surah Ta Ha

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Time to Sin

I walk briskly past all of my problems
She has awoken early for her sin today
I am not surprised

We make time and space for
Shortcomings coming along too far
His qiyamul layl was outside a cinema
He abstains, fasting away from all good people
She is shy hiding all things from parents but not God
We sure have come along scheduling in our sins
This time is from me and only me
As if the creation of you was cheap
Idle minds idolize all things false
I am lost for words

I could have barged in there and said
" You have time for this ,
You can awake for this
Do you not value yourself
Sold for hell and a few cheap moments
Witnessed and repeated on the wide screen
Quality better than HD
For all humanity, and where is yours
Show some mercy on yourself
Find your place and place yourself
There with such certainty
Don't falter for words not rooted
In commitment , do all plants grow
But not all light is the sun
Some blinds and some burns one
Till he forgets what it felt to be alive
Don't look at me with those eyes
Harshness vs leniency
You have strengthened my moral fibers
And sharpened the righteousness in these bones
And you should know that you were wrong
You were wrong , you did lie and I did know
Gosh this game is getting old "
But I didn't

Because she was sitting next to him
And that was all , they were strangers
To strangers eyes but I
Was too caught up to believe
To stand in the middle of a corridor and dream

For every predictable sinner,
You are monochrome
And I would love for a surprise
What kind of hero is your soul
Mess with the plot line from time to time

Your souls are precious and can only be equal to the price of Paradise, therefore sell them only at that price
- Ali ibn abu-Talib (radiAllahu anhu)

God is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The example of His Light is like a niche wherein is a lamp; the lamp is in a crystal, and the crystal, shining as if a pearl-like radiant star, lit from the oil of a blessed olive tree that is neither of the east nor of the west. The oil would almost give light of itself though no fire touches it. Light upon light! God guides to His Light whom He wills. God strikes parables for people. God has full knowledge of all things
Surah An-Nur

Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) says, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) say,
Allah stated: O son of Adam! I will forgive your sins no matter how many you have committed irrespective of their greatness as long as you pray to me and you expect forgiveness from me. O son of Adam! I will forgive you even if your sins are so many as to fill the skies if you ask forgiveness from me. O son of Adam! If you come to me with so many sins as to fill the earth, I will welcome you with so much mercy as to fill the earth if you have not associated partners with me.”


Friday, 14 December 2012

Little Pieces of Paradise

Books sit at jaunty angles
Drinking cups of warmth by
Windows opening up to the sea
We have worn the knuckles with work
Of money and false pretenses
We have tried to buy time
By dealing in time to gather wealth
We have tried to store smiles
In albums idle awaiting lonely fingertips
Our friendships are bought with cheap hellos
And minutes killed
Because everything dies right
We work lifetimes for little pieces of paradise
This SAT-NAV is of no use
Face it you know where this is heading
The earthy pursuit of eternity is in fact
Complete futility
As the world is toil and tears
Your flight leaves at terminal death
Gather your supplies and lets go
Because your soul in never inclined
To smidgens of a lie
All counterfeit fakes in custody
Our destination is perfection
Like we never knew before.

And no soul knows what has been hidden for them of comfort of the eye (satisfaction) as reward for what they used to do
As-Sajdah 32/17

Everyone that is thereon will pass away;There remaineth but the countenance of thy Lord of Might and Glory.
Surah Rehman

Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you
Until you visit the graveyards.
No! You are going to know.
Then no! You are going to know.
No! If you only knew with knowledge of certainty...
You will surely see the Hellfire.
Then you will surely see it with the eye of certainty.
Then you will surely be asked that Day about pleasure.

Surah At-Takathaur

Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: I heard the Prophet saying, "If the son of Adam (the human being) had two valley of money, he would wish for a third, for nothing can fill the belly of Adam's son except dust, and Allah forgives him who repents to Him."  
Sahih Bukhari

Thursday, 13 December 2012

See the Words

To rip the skin off these palms to
Feel to bleed, smeared across
The walls and honesty reaches deep
She can no longer breathe because
They clawed air from her chest
She has waited deflated into
Silent strands of nothingness

They have set me alight
Heat reaching bones and stones
We've gone too far, too quick
And life, well this is it

My soul is ill trained ,savage
Taking all pain because it won't dare to let go
And familiarity is a curse
And whats worse is our bodies are numb
So stupid, so young
Holding on we'll let go
When the end has come
So I'll burn , slow and steadily
Till your eyes will see the
Small pile of ash by your feet

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

A Story Inscribed

Dedicated to the 'rock chick hijaabi'

Your life is a story inscribed
Into books as you speak
And the complexity of the characters you meet
Are simplified into you don't understand me
They are plotlines that are sidelined because you have deadlines
And the faces they fade into characters unreal
Who fail to feel
But your life is a story inscribed
By you the narrator who must find
There is a hero and soul
And there are places you must go
The people you will know
And the lies that they show
Because your soul is a hero
And your life is story inscribed


She is counting beads while she speaks
No it's a tasbih that needs to be rubbed on the face
Mid conversation at that
You have created your own means
And yes some leeway for permissibility
But don't claim to love a prophet whose sunnah you don't do
Where is the concentration , reaching numbers made by a few

Their innovation breaks me
They recite poetry about love and desires
It drowns out the Quran they never read
His voice raises to the tune of the drums
Of songs, rocking back and forth
And strange attributions to man of God
They stand when they should sit
And they spin when they should stand
And this is a holy man they claim
I don't need priests I need peace
Was is not our history of men who sought
Truth and evidence
You feel so you do , you sit
One hundred times " Allahu "
This is not love
This is the mannerism of the lost

I needed them to be religious
I needed an infrastructure, a means
But they are too busy
Inventing worship to do
To God and men just the same
And I , I am strange because I ask for a hadith
Is it sahih?- Now I'm extreme-
In moderation
Your admiration is fake
Concepts, actions and creed
Don't listen to the person listen to the Deen

Narrated by Ibn Waddaah in Al-Bid’ wa’l-Nahy ‘anhaa from al-Salt ibn Bahraam, who said: ‘Ibn Mas’ood passed by a woman who had a [masbahah] with which she was making tasbeeh, and he broke it and threw it aside, then he passed by a man who was making tasbeeh with pebbles, and he kicked him then said, “You think you are better than the Sahaabah, but you are following unjustified bid’ah! You think you have more knowledge than the Companions of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)!”’ Its isnaad is saheeh to al-Salt, who is one of the trustworthy (thiqah) followers of the Taabi’een

Prohibited to you are dead animals, blood, the flesh of swine, and that which has been dedicated to other than Allah , and [those animals] killed by strangling or by a violent blow or by a head-long fall or by the goring of horns, and those from which a wild animal has eaten, except what you [are able to] slaughter [before its death], and those which are sacrificed on stone altars, and [prohibited is] that you seek decision through divining arrows. That is grave disobedience. This day those who disbelieve have despaired of [defeating] your religion; so fear them not, but fear Me. This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed My favor upon you and have approved for you Islam as religion. But whoever is forced by severe hunger with no inclination to sin - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

Every innovation is a misguidance and every misguidance goes to Hell fire.
Sahih Muslim

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Breaking our Prayers

She is guided in a moment without intervention from
human beings who fall short too often
Her change of heart is miraculous not probable
But by God it is always possible

She is my sister too and I smile but
my heart remains with another just the same
Been the same for so long I wait
And the weight takes its tole
She will be saved on a day untold

My sister waits in agony of dreams unfulfilled
Lives that she cannot bring herself to live
Lies that have built around her of stone
Of bones crushed by the weight of sujood
Of so much ,so little done for you

I am fundamentally flawed
Perhaps my prayers lack sincerity
They cannot reach the place they need to be
Intentions, apprehensions , compulsion to ask
Please do not take me to task for
I love, I really do , I seek I am a seeker true
I forget miserably but turn back to you

We all hang on for dear life to
Driftwood rotting beneath the palms
These eyes could look a little lower
This tongue could speak a little less
This body could find modesty in its dress
These hands could stop the shaking
This smile could find its place
These feet could run to prayer
This heart could become straight

Suffiyan At-Thawri answering the question "why does Allah not answer my prayer"
1- You know Allah(swt) YET you disobey Him.
2- You recite the Quran YET you dont act according to it.
3- You know shaitan YET you have agreed with him.
4- You proclaim your love of the messenger(saw) of Allah(swt) YET you abandon his Sunnah.
5- You proclain your love for Paradise YET you do not act to gain it.
6- You proclaim your fear of the Fire YET you do not prevent yourselves from sins.
7- You say indeed death is true YET you have not done anything to prepare for it.
8- You point out the faults of others YET you do not look at your own faults.
9- You eat of that which Allah(swt) has provided for you YET you do not thank Him(swt).
10- You bury your dead YET you do not take a lesson from it.

"When my servants ask you concerning me, (tell them) I am indeed close (to them). I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls on me."
 [Quran 2:186] 

 “When the son of Adam gets up in the morning, all the limbs humble themselves before the tongue and say: “Fear Allah for our sake because we are with you: (i.e., we will be rewarded or punished as a result of
what you do) if you are straight, we will be straight; and if you are crooked, we will become crooked.”

 Reported by Abu Said Al Khudri (r.a.) Hadith 1521 At-Tirmidhi 

“O Turner of the hearts, make my heart steadfast in adhering to Your religion.”

Saturday, 8 December 2012


Tomorrow part II

Beneath the sea bed we will sleep
A slumber amidst purity
And these gems will weigh us down
So that no longer will we hear the seagulls screech
There will be no thirst
And there will be no hurt
The promise is true
Beneath the seabed on top of worlds
Under shade will the eyes gaze
Through the shine of the gem will reflect
Who we were
And where we are
Let the boat sink

Tomorrow part one here 

Friday Snow

The grit beneath this shoes grips
We are but footprints in the snow
They cannot recognize us from afar
So they seek that same paths as ours
They have seen our impressions but not
Our faces frostbitten and blue
Blood and living slow
They survive those whose
Finger tips moved to exercise the soul
The heart all blood but never bleeds
Remember me, remember me
The snow nearly always melts except
At poles where only the righteous dare to go
So we have left the world with little
We are water dripping into drains
If our belief varies like the seasons
Christmas cheer, Ramadan nights of hope and fear
Oh we believe, we believe
Yet we slip on our words
We have been forgotten
And forgotten ourselves too

Who were we trying to please?

It was said in Haashiyat al-Tahtaawi: “It is correct that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to count the tasbeeh on his right hand. It was reported that he said: ‘Count with your finger tips, for they will be asked and they will be made to speak.’ Ibn Hijr said: Counting the tasbeeh with the fingertips is better than using the subhah (prayer-beads or “rosary”).

 The hypocrite men and hypocrite women are of one another. They enjoin what is wrong and forbid what is right and close their hands. They have forgotten Allah , so He has forgotten them [accordingly]. Indeed, the hypocrites - it is they who are the defiantly disobedient.
Surah Tawbah

And the Day whereon We shall gather them all together, then We shall say to those who did set partners in worship with Us: "Stop at your place! You and your partners (whom you had worshipped in the worldly life)." then We shall separate them, and their (Allah's so-called) partners shall say: "It was not us that you used to worship."
Surah Yunus

Friday, 7 December 2012

Project: Muslim

This life is their life

She is clever, top of the class
Its all temporal if she
had it all but its wasn't enough
The world was tough love
But her, she rose above with degrees
Cheap paper fades , its all just dead trees
Her ups and downs come with roller coasters
Smoking out the joint , to forget
All the things she needs to remember
There is no end point defined
Life continues till death
It is inevitable but is never said
Ripping back the surface she
Is in need without knowing
Infants crying for something they
Lost but cannot recall

Would it be so much for me
To tug the earphones out and ask
Her to listen
Suggest to her to believe
Before me?

Where is our conviction
If our belief was true
We would write and publicize
Our facts justified by the divine
We have every trick up our sleeves
They had quran in their thobes because
Don't you forget our heroes
Went from black to white
Because a soul wanted to fulfill his duty right
You were all chosen to know
That you were born with a goal
You were made, you were shaped
You will return to him who gave

So remind, surely you are a reminder.
Ghashiyah 88:21

“To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return.”
Surah Al Baqarah 2:156

Side Note: The first generation of muslims they were all essentially as we would define them today as reverts .It really blows your mind when you think about it.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

The Love Delusion

So you've found someone and they are amazing is every single way. Humorous, fun to be around , intelligent and your only regret is not finding them earlier. It is so easy to spend hours with them daily, so easy to text them when you get home, so easy to dedicate your whole being to them .

So let's strip back the surface if we may . Hypothetically speaking ( because I fear any other type of speaking would hurt too much) what if they were a little different. Yes there character is the same but let's say they don't like the same music as you , can't stand your favourite song, can't bare to eat that sushi , not obsessed with Japanese culture, not really that into all your little quirks. They cannot begin to discuss the classics with you finding it all misogynistic and sexist. From their support to the 'wrong ' political party to their dislike of the hobby you've dedicated your life to they are fundamentally different.

Where are you headed with this? Obviously if they're are a completely different person I wouldn't love them I could have told you that without that pointless paragraph above.

Well no , you see they still have the same character and that is what defines a person. They still cook you dinner when you've had a long day at work, they still open doors for you , smile,hug and greet you. Yes they still go to extensive measures to materialize their love for you in their generosity. They are still kind and caring and loving. But like you said you don't love them.

The truth is you were never in love with them . There I said it. The truth is all the superfluous things about them brought you comfort and familiarity. It was familiar only to yourself. You have simply engrossed yourself in the pursuit of somebody whose external outline was a mirror image of yourself. When it came to the person , when all the superficiality was thrown away , perhaps the person was of good character perhaps not but is irrelevant the fact is you couldn't love them any more.  You have been deluded and it is actually rather sad, you have loved your ego and worshiped your nafs.

Dont surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are. Surround yourself with people who make you better.
Omar Suleiman

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

The Bench

The running back and forth for winter prayers
He is in my field of vision
Alone and I am filled with disparate sympathy
This prayer is that of unity
But missed opportunities wait
On wooden benches

He is still sitting there after prayer
Oblivious to what he's missed
My words back in the rows
I cannot hate you
I never could

This soul is filled with sadness
You do not know the joys of
Quran in an empty room , the sujood
Of the masses, of salaams
Of upturned palms

You are so confused, it hurts
But we pray, oh how we pray
For bench ridden bystanders who
Don't know which way to go

Guide us to the straight path 
Surah Fatiha

Monday, 3 December 2012

The Musa within You

I have filed you away for rainy days
The compartmentalization of pain
These tears have drained into earth
And I will still wait ,still amazed if anything grows

They say to pray

I pray for miracles
I have learnt that
through a power greater than you or I
People can be miraculous

So I wonder if you're wandering through
Restless days and strange phases
Not quite finding your place
With this adopted family of yours
Whose friendship flickers the passing light

Your shoes are still on
The rack is empty
Crammed against the wall this Friday
There is plenty of room for one more
I will always make room for one more
And it turns out,
I do not need the rain to cry

And has there come to you the story of Musa (Moses)?When he saw a fire, he said to his family: "Wait! Verily, I have seen a fire, perhaps I can bring you some burning brand therefrom, or find some guidance at the fire."
And when he came to it (the fire), he was called by name: "O Musa (Moses)!
"Verily! I am your Lord! So take off your shoes, you are in the sacred valley, Tuwa.And I have chosen you. So listen to that which is inspired to you.Verily! I am Allah! La ilaha illa Ana (none has the right to be worshipped but I), so worship Me, and perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat) for My Remembrance.Verily, the Hour is coming and My Will is to keep it hidden that every person may be rewarded for that which he strives.Therefore, let not the one who believes not therein (i.e. in the Day of Resurrection, Reckoning, Paradise and Hell, etc.), but follows his own lusts, divert you therefrom, lest you perish.
And what is that in your right hand, O Musa (Moses)?"
He said: "This is my stick, whereon I lean, and wherewith I beat down branches for my sheep, and wherein I find other uses."
(Allah) said: "Cast it down, O Musa (Moses)!"He cast it down, and behold! It was a snake, moving quickly.Allah said:"Grasp it, and fear not, We shall return it to its former state,And press your (right) hand to your (left) side, it will come forth white (and shining), without any disease as another sign,That We may show you (some) of Our Greater Signs.
Surah Taha

O you who have believed, when you are told, "Space yourselves" in assemblies, then make space; Allah will make space for you. And when you are told, "Arise," then arise; Allah will raise those who have believed among you and those who were given knowledge, by degrees. And Allah is Acquainted with what you do.

...nor has He made your adopted sons your real sons. That is but your saying with your mouths. But Allah says the truth, and He guides to the (Right) Way.

Surah Al-Ahzab

Friday, 30 November 2012

The Sunnah

They have all fallen short and I
I am not surprised in the least
I have come to learn what
It means to be human

The azaan is pure ecstasy
If you could truly hear the words

Everything is beautiful within
Limits ordained
We are sheep grazing
Too close to boundaries
Eating from the forbidden
Hunger pushing for anything green
Ignoring other means of
Permissible fields uneaten
In our desire to fill this space
We have strayed

I am taken aback
I could cry as
She kisses her thumbs
And rubs her eyes
Oh dear me...

If I ignore the wrongs in my vicinity
Then I cannot be a shepherd
I will be nothing but a sheep

And he (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) also said:
"… and every innovation is misguidance and all misguidance is in the Hellfire." 
Reported by an-Nasaa'ee (1/224) from Jaabir bin Abdullaah and it is saheeh as declared by Shaikh ul-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah in Majmoo' ul-Fataawaa (3/58).

Ibn 'Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, "All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the people of his house and he is responsible. A woman is the shepherd of the house of her husband and she is responsible. Each of you is a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said "Both the halaal (lawful) and the haraam (unlawful) things are (made) obvious, and in between them are (suspicious) doubtful matters. So whoever forsakes those doubtful things lest he may commit a sin, will definitely avoid what is clearly unlawful; and whoever indulges in these (suspicious) doubtful things bravely, is likely to commit what is clearly illegal. Sins are Allah's Hima (i.e. private pasture) and whoever pastures (his sheep) near it, is likely to get in it at any moment."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.267 Narrated by An Numan bin Bashir

'So hold fast to my Sunnah and the sunnah of the rightly-guided khalifahs, bite onto it with the (canine/molar) teeth. And beware of the new matters, for every innovation is misguidance."
Abu Dawud; Ibn Maajah; Tirmidhi; Ibn Hibban

Wednesday, 28 November 2012


I am tip-ex and smudged Biro pens
These wrongs have been corrected haphazardly
I am unable to hand this in for marking
So I rip it up and start again
But I can't remember my mistakes
Papery memories sit at my feet

We forget the things we love the most
Until it is one with us, it will always be
On top of us, this theoretical capacity unfulfilled
With no tolerance and one hundred percent error

Why have these words slipped from our tongues
Frantic hands flip through pages but we
Cannot read, we would not read

My mistakes are found through history
And the epitome of the story is
Found within the morality of the character
Textbook answers seen yet unread
We are blind, oblivious of oblivion
Forgetting the things that weigh the most
On these shoulders
Are heavy
on the scales
The answers are so obvious when we are told
And we were most definitely told

And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind."
He will say, "My Lord, why have you raised me blind while I was [once] seeing?"
[ Allah ] will say, "Thus did Our signs come to you, and you forgot them; and thus will you this Day be forgotten.

Surah Taha

“Verily Allaah raises some people by this Book and lowers others by it?”
Sahih Muslim

Monday, 26 November 2012

Interview Etiquette

Maybe I want to be everything you ask of me
But the process of becoming is like
Manufacturing cheap goods , second rate versions
Costing more and lacking luster and quality

Interviews are blouses and skirts billowing in a
Half hearted breeze of laughter
They will never be pleased with me
This system is agonized by the sight of me
Black abaya and scarf  without the accessories
And how can I meet you half way
To hell, fire singeing the ends and this
Hijaab loses a few inches quietly

Why can't I be assertive in the one thing that counts
Must I de-robe for a racist ideology
Climb career ladders in tailored suits
We're all just monkeys jumping through hoops but
This hijaabi can shoot from outside
The three point line so give me a foul but
Don't deny that I knew my stuff

And don't worry I can integrate
Let me factor out all the lies and trials
Found in the small print of this contract
And divide my time between between heaven and this
To find the truth in clause 1ai- I am oppressed
By fools who try to tell me how to dress

Sunday, 25 November 2012

To be Forgotten

Narrated Sahel Ibn Sa’ad (RA): that the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:
‘Two will not be rejected, Supplication when the Adhan (call of prayer) is being called, and at the time of the rain’.
Abu Dawud & ibn Majah

It is 3:07am , the year 2022. There is an hour left until Fajr and I am awake listening intently to the rain. My body lulled out of bed, the same way it was all those years ago. Perched knees sink into the pillow as the curtains quiver along with these fingertips.

I am a sleep deprived fool and a fool when fully rested too. There is nothing to see here , there are no stars when it rains , there are never any stars but I still stare into the pre-Fajr darkness. It is as if I am looking at the sound, the crisp lines of rain reverberate, like the strokes of an artist, in the soul of the painted. Yes, I am a fool, most definitely.

Ten years have passed and I still cry at the sound of the rain , out of habit mostly. I remember anxious eyes leaving to break their fast in more ways than one , hand in hand with him. She tells me religious things before she sins ,to comfort me, to call for help, I never did find out which. It doesn't matter now, I wasn't able to answer her. She is words of that water was delicious, the taste of Quran on her throat. She is texts saying I'll never be a good muslim no matter how much I try. She is gone though remembered and I am here, easing myself away from the window, for fajr, for prayer.

I will forgive but I cannot forget.

Saturday, 24 November 2012

Chambers of the Heart

I am narrow twisted corridors
With tack and love affixed to walls
And the paper peals from the weight
The ornate towers reaching ceilings
And emptiness and little nooks and crannies where
It is too hard for this soul to breath

I am full

My heart is filled with trapdoors and secret rooms
I amass the contraband of emotions and distant faces unwillingly
There is no more space I claim
But tomorrow comes and somehow everything fits

This is an organized mess
I know where everything is - I think
I am amazed and concerned simultaneously
What poor beloved item has been squished?
What will happen when my heart is well and truly filled?

I imagine heaven to be
A silver key that opens
An unfounded room of infinite space
I imagine heaven to be easy-breathing
with hearts filled with substance
I imagine heaven

I nail the image of heaven to the front door
Refusing to let anything else in

Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord and for a garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth prepared for the righteous. 
Surah: 3. Al-Imran Verse 133

Friday, 23 November 2012

Unlike Fridays

I don't want to write poetry about you because you're not even that poetic.
I don't want to think about our impromptu meeting today because you are gone save unpleasant memories.
I don't want to be shaking but it is so hard to stop.

I want to be able to talk to you like a normal person and not feel as if I am lying to my soul.
I want to ignore all that has happened but how when he is standing right next to you.
I want to know that all these words and thoughts and feelings , these little tidbits of advice, random stories , my entire life this past year , all the random things that reminded me of you, every half formed apology , every Monday morning epiphany will somehow be conveyed to you, that in some strange and remarkable way ,just by the look on my face, you will understand what is heaving in this here chest.

And I want you to stop shaking your leg. I want us to finally be able to sit and talk, without that horrible strung tension, of avoiding the elephant in the room. I want peace for you .

I want...

I wish that I could say "Assalamu Alaikum Wa rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu" to you and that these almost wasted years could be a testimony to its truth.

Wednesday, 21 November 2012


You are a murder spilling
Blood indiscriminately stains
These children played beneath
A tyrant who ordered the slaughter slow
enough to feel the pain of limbs
Ripped and the sinew beneath your nails

You have murdered a nation
No earthly trial will do, you have
Butchered a people never met
And you cry the false tears of regret

Your palms are the sweaty red of
Adolescence and fruitless speech
Delayed prayers as fajr meets
You through curtains closed
Minded opinion, rationale of no benefit
Incessant need to stare with eyes of arrows
Poisoned acts of innovations
Quran whose explanation is unread
Completely until someone is dead and we
Clothe heads for a time to be seen and
We lie and we cheat and he beats
His mother into tears of nights
when he is never there because he
Drinks the blood of his victims
Heads spinning , palms wrongly read
As if to say through the smoke that
We feed the youth with idleness and curiosity
To kill the cats too as if
this all wasn't enough

We have murdered the innocent
We cry for Gaza , for Palestine
Cry for yourself as you stand
With unrepented sins and its
Corruption sits inside
Clasped, foolish hands

"Allah does not punish the individuals for the sins of the community until they see the evil spreading among themselves, and while they have the power to stop it, do not do so."

God commands justice and doing good and giving to relatives. And He forbids indecency and doing wrong and tyranny. He warns you so that hopefully you will pay heed.
Qur'an 16: 90

The lustful gaze is a poisoned arrow from the devil.

Monday, 19 November 2012

You will Remember

We forget the faces strained
with tiptoed messages saved
For seclusion, of self improvement

She almost whispers the word 'hijaab'
Trying subliminally to tell you
Choose not music choose Quran

Recall the faces shunned
For they strove to make you strive
They saw potential in once lowered eyes

They were hesitant not to hurt
But you took offense unfounded
Grounded heads were not of us

You will remember that
The words and them have left
Memories of milestones unreached
What harm is there to listen
To the preacher when they preach

"And Remind for verily a reminder benefits the believer"


I wrote this piece several months ago,near enough a year, and yet it feels like I could have written this just the other day. 

Quiet and reserved 
Or is it shy and unconcerned
Is it a crisp autumn breeze?
Or is it dead falling leaves

A big hearty laugh
Or just another façade
Everything will be okay
Or is it just a brave face

Is it easier to worry
About everyone else
Don’t look in the mirror
Don’t think about yourself

Do you want to speak
But the words have gone away
Is it a breathtaking sunset
Or just the end of a day

Do your eyes swell with tears?
And you can no longer see
You stumble, trip and fall,
Lay dead on your knees

If I hold out a hand
How long will I wait
You know I’m there
Why do you hesitate?

Can’t you see what you’re doing?
Or do you not really care
For as long as my pain is silent
Then it's not really there

Perhaps you see a rainbow
I just see a rainy day
Perhaps you’re truly happy
Then why is everything grey

Years of memories turn to dust
Am I just a faded photo
Of someone you should recognise
From a time so long ago

I can’t describe, what I can’t understand
Why do we smile? Why do we pretend? 
If I could only find the words
Then maybe this would all end

Sunday, 18 November 2012

To Sow

Time makes things worse.

It ruptures this surface blackness
Beyond which is easy breathing
That stutters back and forth and I
Spray death on it persistently
Why must these weeds of hope grow
In the most awkward of places
Pessimism, Pessimism, snubbed beneath the shoe
And the weight of the words on my shoulders
Cracks the pavement and then
Or not quite then does the rain fall

I remember young hands planting
Seeds amongst the dirt
There are prayers we no longer remember
Dreams so grand we can't believe they are ours
It is not necessarily the persistent but
The patient, who sees the flower grow.

By time,
Indeed, mankind is in loss,
Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

Surah Asr

And verily, the help of Allah is near!

“Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said,
"The deeds are considered by the intentions, and a person will get the reward according to his intention.” 
Bukhari, Muslim

Is there anything more than the harvest of the tongues that throws people on their faces (or he said 'on their noses') into the Fire?"

Lonely Feelings II

There are billions of people alive
Who knew it was for me to cry
In an empty kitchen for you

I am tired of feeling for you
Exhausted at the thought of you
Yet waiting for the return of you

I write to make this tangible
But I am tangled in the thoughts
That even after a lifetime when
Wrinkled , shriveled hearts can barely
Pump blood yet alone anything else
I will wake on an odd day a Wednesday lets say
And suddenly the sound of grey haired fajr birds and rain
Will fall into places
That we once knew

I don't know how I will ever forget you
And what is breaking these lazy limbs is
The thoughts that I, I don't know how
To be the means to help you

Lonely Feelings I

Did We not expand for you, [O Muhammad], your breast?
And We removed from you your burden
Which had weighed upon your back
And raised high for you your repute.
For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.
Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.
So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship].
And to your Lord direct [your] longing.

Ash- Sharh

Friday, 16 November 2012

Candy-floss Years Ago

The Story of my Life Part IV

Candy-floss drips with the humidity
Pinkness stuck to the palms.

I tell her how I left them all
My own personal hijra to college
Leaving behind people I could no longer love
I found relatives beyond the blood
Of soul and essence

I shouldn't have left the
Way I did it all was wrong

The story of my life is
Looking over the shoulders,
Beyond the faces that connect to me
It is looking and finally seeing the
Street was never empty.
It is realizing that beyond my quaint
Little religious bubble
The life of those has descended
Into chaos, into Fridays with
Kisses on the cheek in the rain
I am burning in the flames of destruction
This abandonment is branded with
sunken hearts and sticky,useless palms

Thursday, 15 November 2012


This is not really speaking
No transfer of ideas or feelings
Everybody has ears but like they say
Very few actually hear beyond
The surface of what they can take
Because every word is a boulder
And these shoulders can only bear
So much we leave behind
And you'll find that hoarse little voice
The eloquent word erodes
You must be the your own wind
Carrying these thoughts beyond the trees of
People we meet and we forget idly
We must burn our own flame
Willing to sacrifice the wax that suffocates
And feel the heat in the blue
Skies beyond which are so many more
Worthy a journey, so do not be afraid
Take the journey to success and tell us all
About the ride in the afterlife

Verily, those who say: "Our Lord is Allah (Alone)," and then they Istaqamu , on them the angels will descend (at the time of their death) (saying): "Fear not, nor grieve! But receive the glad tidings of Paradise which you have been promised!
Surah Fussilat

O you who believe! why do you say that which you do not act? It is most hateful in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not act.

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

False Loftiness

Driven personalities from naught to sixty
And not much further
He runs on his internal petrol
Burning every moral code of decency
He is smoke in the eyes of the pious
They cry because belief in the burning swells

He is blood ridden feet splashing
These human limbs are human
Little confidence placed in them
He is a lifetime of footsteps
Because that is the duration of this journey
The former leaves him during patient
walks down narrow paths
As he invokes his instruction manual
Before the inevitable crash

Are these hearts empty save
Increased heart rates that lead
Only to death
We seek speedy, artificial solutions
We seek honour in making it on our own
And perhaps our pride is justified if
You can stand on your own two feet-
Created by yourself- uncreated
Too pumped up with blood to seek
Questioning with unknown authority
Why not beseech?
Why are we writing
When we barely know how to read

So be patient, [O Muhammad]. Indeed, the promise of Allah is truth. And ask forgiveness for your sin and exalt [ Allah ] with praise of your Lord in the evening and the morning.
Indeed, those who dispute concerning the signs of Allah without [any] authority having come to them - there is not within their breasts except pride, [the extent of] which they cannot reach. So seek refuge in Allah . Indeed, it is He who is the Hearing, the Seeing.

Surah Ghafir

On the authority of Abu Harayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Prophet (PBUH) said: Allah the Almighty said: 
I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me an arm's length, I draw near to him a fathom's length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.

Recite in the name of your Lord who created 
Surah Al-Alaq

Sunday, 11 November 2012


I am tired of sending out emails en mass
I will find something, write something just so
And send it only to you
Maybe you feel lost beneath the names
Beneficial chain mail loses all benefit
Because hand wrapped gifts in vintage paper
Tied with a bow waiting for your fingertips to tug
Means oh so much more
I will be direct in my direction
Of all the people I love in this world
This gift of regular shaped letters, strings
Of ideas and emotions were meant only for you

I feel vulnerable, if you reject it
I am left red faced, ashamed
So what to give you in the first place
Despite all of this writing
These lines of verse
I am still averse to write to you
To speak to you
So drafts of a gift so well conceptualized
Wait miserably for weeks
Oh my Lord let it materialize
Let it materialize quickly , please

To Forget

There was a gap in your life
That I could never fill
Raindrops against my windowsill
This distance is almost theoretical
Your too far for my emotions to be plausible
Staring at constellations of stars
I can't help but wonder who you are
Everything has been eclipsed by him
And there comes a point when
All has been folded, dusted and cleaned
Finding false solace in the persnickety
And they say close your eyes, sleep and dream
But from time to time you're there too
I wonder that before I die ,
Will the onslaught of rain
Always remind me of you

Saturday, 10 November 2012


I know she says repeatedly
But she won't, she can't,she claims

Our love is a fatal obsession with our
Hearts caught beneath the tide
And to drink without thirst
Is to seek without need
As we drown beneath superficiality

There are gaps in our hearts
Little pieces of muscle worn
Away due to lack of use
We plaster walls with the sludge of sin
Temporary fixes drip
Stuck to the bottom of our shoes
We trudge, enveloped
As we drag it to every corner of our life
The footsteps merge together
No knowledge of how it got to this
The blackness drops from the ceiling
Onto darkened foreheads

It is when windows of opportunity open
That we in our dumbfound state
Cannot help but wince
At the incoming light

“…Surely sins are like the seeds of fruits that always bear like fruits. Some of the Salaaf have said that indeed the punishment for committing a sin is that one is compelled to commit sin again, and the reward for performing good deeds is the guidance to follow that up with yet another good deed. This singular action of doing a good deed bears a series of good deeds and in turn one’s profits multiply. Similarly sins accumulates more sins and begin to take shape and permanence in one’s character.
If a pious person were to leave a good deed, he would feel confined and constricted, though he lives in a world of vast magnitude. Much like a fish out of water. The soul finds rest only in the tides of moral decency. So it is the same for the sinner, who finds comfort only in the familiarity and repetition of an old sin. He, too, feels the same sense of longing as the righteous person does. He sins not for pleasure that is derived from it, but to pacify the pain that being away from it brings”
Ibn Qayyim [Ad-Da' Wad-Dawa']

Friday, 9 November 2012

Being Aware

He is on his own now, walking
backwards down that fateful street
I think my optimism is broken
I cannot quite fathom
Nor muster the strength to believe
It's changed?

I only want to tarry for a moment
Because any longer and I will reinvest this heart
And those long lost dreams will, breath
How should I ask her?
To ask her at all and
These behind the scenes previews are
Unshakably real
But I am an audience and she a celebrity, in a way
And she is right, we are on completely different levels
She is center stage and I
I am at the back behind the heads of others
Hearing words echoed , unsure
Whether you're talking to me

I am finding more and more in my life -messages. Messages that I'm not sure if I was meant to receive. Messages whose reply I cannot seem to write so I sit quietly, cross legged on the carpet back to a time when life was easy.

Thursday, 8 November 2012


It wasn't good enough for me
That every limb of yours would testify
The ground beneath us speaking truthfully
Of news, who knew we would be headlined
And I , thought it wasn't enough
That you would stand that day shaking
The quiver of resurrected limbs
As we intoxicated by the drink of sin
Stand oh so miserably in our own sweat
Oh no, it wasn't enough that you
Would be interrogated, humiliated
With mistakes stuck upon the tongue
As everything else finds its speech
No it wasn't enough that the whole
Universe shall witness against you
No I in my false claims of love
Have looked upon your sin silently, wrongly
And now even I with bitter remorse
Will be called to witness too

May Allah forgive you. May you stand on that day honoured. May my being in your life never cause you any grief in this life or the next.

Abu Hurayrah (radi Allahu anhu) reported: The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) recited, “That Day it (the earth) will reveal its news (about all that happened over it of good or evil).” (99:4).
Then He (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) inquired, “Do you know what its news are?”
He was told: “Allah and His Messenger know better”. He said, “Its news is that it shall bear witness against every slave man and woman they did on its back. It will say: ‘You did this and this on such and such day.’ Those will be its news.”

"That Day shall We set a seal on their mouths. But their hands will speak to us, and their feet bear witness, to all that they did.
Surah Yasin

. . . And you will think people drunk when they are not drunk; it is just that the punishment of Allah is so severe.

Surat al-Hajj, 2

Hadrat Al-Miqdad (may Allah be pleased with him) said that he heard Allah’s Messenger (may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) say: On the Day of Resurrection, the sun will be brought near the created beings till it is about a mile from them, and mankind will sweat according to what they had done, the sweat reaching the ankles of some, the knees of others, the waists of others, while some will have their mouths covered by the sweat and Allah’s Messenger (may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) pointed his hand at his mouth.

Abu Huraira reported the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) as saying: When Satan hears the call to prayer, he turns back and breaks the wind so as not to bear the call being made, but when the call is finished he turns round and distracts (the minds of those who pray), and when he bears the Iqama he again runs away so as not to hear its voice and when it subsides, he comes back and distracts (the minds of those who stand for prayer).
Shaytaan runs as to avoid witnessing a good deed. So how satanic are we, openly witnessing evil deeds without the conviction to correct it

The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise.

Wednesday, 7 November 2012


This henna reminds me of life
With its fake vibrant red for a week
And like life it doesn't leave easily
We don't fade gently into graves
It is the abrupt pealing of dead skin
The vague marks we leave for loved ones
Of our fading orange light
The pattern of our life becomes disorganized
And they will remember us
As random dots specked in their memory
And they will remember us briefly on eids when
We are no longer there
And I am too scared to leave a permanent mark behind
Too scared that my hands might shake the
The lines of my life might not be straight
And so I am nothing but a raw, red palm
My potential ripping from my skin
This henna, this life disappears no matter
How hard we try to grip

By time,
Indeed, mankind is in loss,
Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

Surah Asr

The soul of a Muslim is removed like a water drop flows from a vessel. The soul of a non-Muslim is removed like a multi-pointed skewer is removed from wet wool that causes the veins and nerves to sever 
Ahmad, Abu-Daawood & Al-Haakim

When a man dies, his deeds come to an end, but three: 
1. recurring charity, 
2. or knowledge (by which people) benefit, 
3. or a pious off-spring, who prays for him (for the deceased).

Sahih Muslim

Monday, 5 November 2012

To Fold

We fold our lives compulsively
Staring smugly at corners lined up so neatly
Smaller and smaller until it fits in our back pocket
Still a nuisance to remember that
We are still alive so fold some more
Until the sum of our emotions and feelings
Bulk upon the seventh fold
And the notion of who we are
Collapses upon itself
We are inside this paper somewhere
Suffocating beneath the crease
They find you lying lifeless with it in your hand
And there are words scribbled on the wrinkled page
There are words telling us to read
And there are things that cannot be compressed
Thoughts of where this is all heading  can't be left
At best it still rips through the corner of the page
And shreds of paper, of purpose, fall just the same

Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists),
He has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood)
Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous,
Who has taught (the writing) by the pen.
He has taught man that which he knew not.
Nay! Verily, man does transgress (in disbelief and evil deed).
Because he considers himself self-sufficient.
Surely! unto your Lord is the return.
Surah Al-Alaq

Broken Prayers

For all my broken prayers
Every time these eyes dared to dream
This mind yearned so earnestly
And I am caught in my own intoxication
Willingly falling backwards, jumping upwards
Searching inwards of this dusty head

Isn't it true, we've locked so much away
Woe to us too afraid , to afraid to dream
Why can't I change the world with limbs
Just the same of heroes of that bygone age
Great people are born within the chest
They are born of hearts that breathe
Of blood that pumps of minds that are free
And our biographies are written
We are the living characters of our own books

And we are fools to think we can't
We can never because our bodies are worthless
Commodities but our lives are exchanged
For greatness unseen to these eyes
And my prayers you ask , they are broken
By myself , too afraid to verbalize
And ask of God the things I cannot give myself

I have realized that my dreams are probably too big for my boots but then who needs shoes any way. Give me an empty mosque with someone to recite Quran, somewhere cosy and quiet to pray and leave those restrictive shoes on the rack outside as I find myself again in far better places.

Verily, Allah has purchased of the believers their lives and their properties for (the price) that theirs shall be the Paradise.

"When my servants ask you concerning me, (tell them) I am indeed close (to them). I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls on me."

Sunday, 4 November 2012


From time to time I check your blog because it is all that I have left . I wonder if something I have sent or said so long ago has finally taken its effect . It is as it always is , a reminder, that no matter how precisely I plan , no matter how much I long I have no knowledge except that which is granted and  my actions have no weight except those that have been decreed into your life .

It is silly I think as I type, if everything had changed then your blog would no longer exist as it has become a testimony to everything that has consumed you. Yet I type with some kind of false hope and click with eyes eager to see the good .And I always do find something good, well kind of , I find something not as bad as the rest , something with potential and that is enough to put me at ease. As I do not ask perfection from anyone rather I ask for somebody to strive alongside with me.

To cut a very long story short, the first post on the screen was profound in so many ways . A montage of clips all showing , all showing the rain falling. I remember verses of poetry about those little circles , about the rain falling as I read for you, about me under that tree on the other side of the street , about prayers made at night with rain hammering against the window , about staring at the pavement and wet socks, about this year , about the rain and most importantly about you...

Is it wrong for me to believe that we are so similar in so many ways. Is it wrong for me to believe that what distances us is trivial . Is it wrong that I think if you were me and I was you I hope that you would never give up on me. And I pray that soon, so tantalizingly soon you will look at that post again and see all that I see and more. I pray you will see how God's mercy falls upon us so heavily and how much we avoid it for a time and how despite it all God can make daisies grow from the grey cracked pavement.

I cried because I doing my best and that is still not good enough. I cried because I can't save them if they can't save themselves. I'm being patient. I know these things take time. Lots and lots of time. I know that I can't give up. I can't lose hope in Allah (swt). It is true though. Allah doesn't guide those whom you love, rather He guides those whom He wills. And that is a fact we have to accept. As we are, ultimately, His slaves after all.

One Moment

She is living in a moment, fleeting
The wind blows hardest during the storm
When our veils leave our unprepared heads
And we brought ourselves to this  with
Steps not miscalculated but blindly taken into an abyss
Of life and living

Every gush of winds pushes her further in
The eyes of the storm see more than she ever did
She argued with her mum before she left
Poisoned blood pumped limbs to dally in streets
Only a few minutes longer and him for who she didn't care
She spoke just to warm the air around her, to numb
Her pain with something potentially greater
One misjudgment brings death in such abundance
Of backstreet abortions and broken family links

She waited far too many years for this walk in clinic
She didn't have an appointment , she never needed one
Gushing her confession the wind in her breath comes and goes
She is nowhere grand, cross-legged on hardwood floors
With hands desperate to grab her prescription of forgiveness and hope
Her fleeting moment lives eternally in peace guaranteed
The release from self built pressure and this false life of ease

Narrated Abi Abdurrahman Abdullah bin Mas'ud, May Allah is pleased with him:
 Allah's Apostle, peace be upon him said, "(The matter of the Creation of) a human being is put together in the womb of the mother in forty days, and then he becomes a clot of thick blood for a similar period, and then a piece of flesh for a similar period. Then Allah sends an angel who breathes the soul into him, and is ordered to write four things. He is ordered to write down his (i.e. the new creature's) deeds, his livelihood, his (date of) death, and whether he will be blessed or wretched (in religion). So, by Allah the One, a man amongst you may do good deeds till there is only a cubit between him and Paradise and then what has been written for him decides his behavior and he starts doing (evil) deeds characteristic of the people of the (Hell) Fire. And similarly, a man amongst you may do (evil) deeds till there is only a cubit between him and the (Hell) Fire, and then what has been written for him decides his behavior, and he starts doing deeds characteristic of the people of Paradise."
Narrated by Al-Bukhari.

Behold, Allah enjoins justice, and the doing of good, and generosity towards one's fellows; and He forbids all that is shameful and all that runs counter to reason, as well as envy; and He exhorts you repeatedly so that you might bear all this in mind.
An-Nahl 16:90

 “He will say: ‘What number of years did ye stay on earth?’ They will say: ‘We stayed a day or part of a day: but ask those who keep account.’ He will say: ‘Ye stayed not but a little, - if ye had only known!’”
Quran 23:112-114

“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
 al-Zumar 39:53