Qualified Hijaabi ❤

So I thought to myself how do you know that you're a hijaabi. I mean a hijaabi not somebody who wears a hijaab that in this day and age has unfortunately become two completely different things .So I have written an uncompleted and unofficial list to answer a question I  really didn't need to ask . So here it goes

1)You know what a burkini is .
2) When it comes to weather forecasts windy days scare you more than rainy days
3) You have an intimidatingly large collection of pins . You have a container that holds your collection of pins
4) Somebody knocks at the door and nobody else is home. You open the curtains ever so slightly and see who it is
Scenario A - It is a women so you put on your hijaab regardless and open the door
Scenario B-  It is a man ( stranger or family is irrelevant) . You hold incredibly still hoping he hasn't seen you. You wait until he is a few meters from the house before you resume normal activity.
5) Your parents leave the house . You go on to Quran explorer find your favourite surah , try to decide between a bunch of reciters and then play the surah as loud as your speakers will allow
6) You have a signature hijaab style
7) The words 'The coverage is awesome ' have been uttered by you and you were not referring to a sports a programme
8) You have at some point in your life experienced Hijaab Hair
9) You may on occasion refer to your scarf as a cape
10) You seriously consider crossing over to the other side of  the street if there are too many men on your side
11) You can put on a hijaab in 5 seconds flat
12) You hide in your bedroom when male relatives come round because you really can't be bothered to put your hijaab and abaya on in your own house
13) When people try to describe you to other people they say the generic statement 'y'know she wears a hijaab and abaya its normally black umm ... yeh'
14) When people say Hi-jab or He-jeb you're not fazed even for a moment , you know instinctively they mean Hijaab
15) You can do the 'abaya jig '
16) You wish you were a Hijaabi with Swag ( the good kind of swag clicky here )
17) You write poems/articles/reflections/pointless lists about the Hijaab because you think it's the bees knees 

I hope you enjoyed my purely fictitious list. For those who it may concern some arbitrary number, say 5 criteria, is what you need to fully qualify as a Hijaabi according to these purely imaginary requirements that hold no actual weight when it comes to determining a Hijaabi.
Comment and add your own over the top Hijaabi behaviour.

“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.”
Surah 24

Verses 30-31

Spiritual Limbo

The faces of some, grown old

Mouths shrivelled, move rhythmically to praise
Hands tremble as they count

To one hundred.

They have spent their efforts, their wealth

Their life.

Yet to my untrained eye

Their hands are empty, upturned.
Irrelevant to patient hearts, at ease

She stands at the podium
The fragility of her words carry

She shakes fervently trying

To convey a message of wisdom and truth

To stir the hearts

But they do not move

The girl I sit next to

Is my age and MSA

She is texting and tweeting about

The programme today

And though there is a hijaab
Piled on top of her head

It is not the same

Spiritual limbo

Is being torn between

Aunties with scarves that cover their chins

Slim fit Abayas, brooches and sparkly things

It is standing on a broad line
And being told both sides are correct

It is knowing but being unable to accept
The former over the latter

I cry tears of the unworthy

Unable to associate with either

They stack green, plastic chairs

So I am left in a room filled with believers

Alone

Balance

There is a broken safety pin
Bent out of shape by demands
Of my jugular vein.
Snagging the fabric of time
Loose threads pulled by passers by.
I am caught in the fray
Of emotions from long ago.
Hijaab too tight on ears, unable to hear
The cries of loved ones
So long ago.

 “Thus We have appointed you a middle nation.”
 Surah Baqarah, 2:143