Heaven and Hijaab

She confided despite
The distance, in me
"I want to go to heaven"
She was teary eyed conviction
I was silent , surprised

Two years have passed
Her hair, longer, flowing
Out of that bandana hijab
She wore so fondly then
Hair- check, just neck and chest
She was one out of three
Getting there slowly

I feel the urge to ask, but don't
If she still feels with all that passion
Tinged with a sorrow I don't know
Just beneath the surface breaking
Through that hope and fear
For heaven

And it scares me that we
Could want something so fervently
Then so quickly bury it deep

Verily, Al-Abrar (the pious who fear Allah and avoid evil) will be in delight (Paradise).
On thrones, looking (at all things).
You will recognise in their faces the brightness of delight.
They will be given to drink pure sealed wine.
The last thereof (that wine) will be the smell of musk, and for this let (all) those strive who want to strive ( i.e earnestly to the obedience of God)
Surah Al-Mutaffifin

Sister, I'm not sure how much this means to you if anything and I know hijaab should be worn to please God and God alone but I thought you should know. I thought you should know that when you take off your hijaab, random strangers who you've probably not spoken to for more than 10 minutes, yes your estranged hijaabi sisters become sad... very sad.

I've updated the About Me section

My anon I received your email , wrote a reply but sis there seems to be something wrong with your email address ...when are you coming back?

Eid

I am faded henna looking
Back at the anti climax
Wondering how one day
Changed it all

They were veiled praying
With utmost humility
Crying with downcast eyes
Grabbing hold of an opportunity
Before they faded and hoping
With hearts swelling of forgiveness

They were striving
With thobes and tawpis
First row men at fajr time
Seeking for ten days like
the fibre of their being
Depended on it

Her eyes are painted ,black
Like a small testimony
To her former self
And she was shining nur, perhaps
she thought glitter would do
Constricted in her waist hugging
Dress that she'll wear once but
Never again.
Once is enough.

And the men they have eaten
Beyond their full and zuhr waits
and continues to wait deep
into the afternoon
They mark the end in a suit
With a silk tie

They say image is identity
We celebrate Eid like
Christmas minus the tree
Did we fall that quickly?
Or is the question
Who are we?

Fashion as a belief is manifested through clothing.
Yuniya Kawamura Fashion-ology

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Whoever imitates a people is one of them.’”
Abu Dawud

Narrated by Ali ibn Abu Talib:
The Prophet of Allah (peace be upon him) took silk and held it in his right hand, and took gold and held it in his left hand and said: "both of these are prohibited to the males of my community"
Abu Dawud

Crazy Love

We are all madly in love.The love of fools which stems from deep within.That causes us to run after and clutch hold of things like needy children squabbling. This love that is so intoxicating,  as our eyelids close and crisp air fills our lungs one last time some of us finally see and others quite simply don't.It is a pushing and a pulling, a heaving sort feeling that stretches out inside us ,barely containable, as it touches the boundaries of our body. This emotion that we have failed to understand, to appreciate is the driving force of our being, it is irrevocably interconnected us. It is malformed truths , unfulfilled rights , it is striving and falling at the same time . It is so tangible that we can feel it in the pulse of our hearts repeating words of I miss you and I am sorry . It is a grandeur that some cannot endure defining the men from the boys. We push it aside we hold it so dearly tight that we squeeze the life out of it and us . Through this capacity of epic proportion that we contain, this remarkable ability to feel that bubbles away inside of us we wander aimlessly on this earth .

Dear Humanity,
I apologize, I really should have told you earlier but your lack of appreciation , of wondering , of simply thinking and reflecting , your incessant desire to push the boundaries beyond what is good for you or I , to transgress in a downward spiraling fashion chasing after your whims , to forget the purity of emotion , to the forget the once purity of your own self has led to this .
You see, humanity , to my untrained red, swollen eyes you in your lustful,unchivalrous, selfish way have, it seems, destroyed love.

  “…and do not come near Zina; indeed, it is an abomination and an evil way”
Quran Al-Isra’: 32

For Zina and love to be synonymous with each other by our own measly definitions has indeed brought a great sadness to this heart. Zina is ugly , it is lustful it is chasing after your own interest with no regards to commitment and it is a flagrant disobedience. Love on the other hand is ...

“To say حـب one must commit the entire mouth from the throat to the lips, symbolic of the commitment of life in love.”

Please Niqaabis, Hijaabis, Muslimahs, my sisters. The potential to love is great, but like many things in life, the wrong circumstance can have fatal consequences. Your heart is beautiful so value it .

Exposure

I can see it’s alive

That means you’re nearly dead

And I wince when I see you

Because I can see the darkness too 

At least cover it up I plead

The bad of effects of a bad deed

Don’t stand bare in front of us all

But you don’t seem to take head

And you’re becoming more exposed

Head, shoulders knees to toes

But maybe I should ask your lover

Shouldn’t you be clothing for one another?

"They are clothing for you, and you for them"

Quran 2: 187

Personal Statement

I'm having a little bit of trouble writing my personal statement/choosing a course/ choosing a University and needed to vent the frustration.

So Red-Brick Uni is it ?
Tell me a bit about yourself
Well I come from a prestigious back-
Yes yes but how is that relevant to me
I have a lot of experience in-
But its not really the same is it
You can't possibly compare that to me
But go on why should I go to your Uni
Well the buildings are traditional and really
quite pretty with stained glass
Oh dear I don't mean to be crass
But isn't that a tad discriminatory
Ahem well the food is cheap and-
You don't seem to have much to offer
Well yes, I mean no
I've been established for 600 hundred years or so
Give it another 600 years and then come back
Would it be possible to get some feedback for this interview
Pretentious, obnoxious, a bit slow , no real interest
Failure to , well just failure I suppose
Rejection

Expectations

Expectations push our own limits
Our own personal reality
It is easier to remain confined
If you never touch the walls
How do you know
If you are boxed in
So when I expect of you
Know that these grand and fanciful
Dreams are neither
Know that you were once that person
That you have within you all of these qualities
It hurts doesn't it to know you have fallen
It is so much easier to blame me
To ignore the actual reality beyond
This bubble of a measly person you've
Allowed yourself to become
I was once so mesmerized by
You, but you are no longer
So I expect of you nothing but
To be true to yourself
Because if nothing else
You were beautiful then.

Delays

Delays come unexpectedly dragging
Out the days with events that have meaning
For brief moments before we
Collapse sighing onto comfy beds

I have seen the world in stanzas
Poetry and prose on the tips
It is falling into an abyss of stuff
That needs doing , now ?
Yes, now. Life commands
Her voice drowning
Me and the verse

So I sit now so well rehearsed
Filled with the life that has pushed me
To my knees these last few days
"Write" says my soul to my heart
But she is new and learning
As the words are said she
Hesitates and the lights turn red

I apologize for the lack of posts . I have indeed been thinking poetry again and again in my head like the wild English eccentric I would so love to be . But circumstance has not been on my side lately ... I shall be updating you with this weeks happenings shortly though ( through the medium of poetry and prose of course)