Thursday, 6 December 2012

The Love Delusion

So you've found someone and they are amazing is every single way. Humorous, fun to be around , intelligent and your only regret is not finding them earlier. It is so easy to spend hours with them daily, so easy to text them when you get home, so easy to dedicate your whole being to them .

So let's strip back the surface if we may . Hypothetically speaking ( because I fear any other type of speaking would hurt too much) what if they were a little different. Yes there character is the same but let's say they don't like the same music as you , can't stand your favourite song, can't bare to eat that sushi , not obsessed with Japanese culture, not really that into all your little quirks. They cannot begin to discuss the classics with you finding it all misogynistic and sexist. From their support to the 'wrong ' political party to their dislike of the hobby you've dedicated your life to they are fundamentally different.

Where are you headed with this? Obviously if they're are a completely different person I wouldn't love them I could have told you that without that pointless paragraph above.

Well no , you see they still have the same character and that is what defines a person. They still cook you dinner when you've had a long day at work, they still open doors for you , smile,hug and greet you. Yes they still go to extensive measures to materialize their love for you in their generosity. They are still kind and caring and loving. But like you said you don't love them.

The truth is you were never in love with them . There I said it. The truth is all the superfluous things about them brought you comfort and familiarity. It was familiar only to yourself. You have simply engrossed yourself in the pursuit of somebody whose external outline was a mirror image of yourself. When it came to the person , when all the superficiality was thrown away , perhaps the person was of good character perhaps not but is irrelevant the fact is you couldn't love them any more.  You have been deluded and it is actually rather sad, you have loved your ego and worshiped your nafs.

Dont surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are. Surround yourself with people who make you better.
Omar Suleiman


  1. SubhanAllah a very stirring piece. How easy and desireable it is to want to spend time with those who support us in every way, even when we are clearly doing wrong. Perhaps we fear the criticism, perhaps we fear the very prospect of having to hear the truth and change our ways.

    1. I'm glad you found some benefit in it . Personally I thought this post was all over the place , was just trying to get some strangely formed thoughts into words.

  2. "You have simply engrossed yourself in the pursuit of somebody whose external outline was a mirror image of yourself."

    Oops, sounds dangerous.

    Good piece!

    1. Love is after all a fatal attraction , do it right and its beautiful do it wrong and you pretty much destroy your life.
      Jazakallahu Khairun

  3. Very true. Never believe that you know what you want, when Allah knows exactly what you need!