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Wednesday 19 December 2012

I don't

I don't want to talk about marriage
Half your deen with him but you
Carry half on your shoulders too
And there is no means
So where should I stem this dream
From empty pressures from you

To give up education though it is fardh*
To beautify unnecessarily
To give up a world for him when he
He is not my God
He is not the source of love
And I am amazed that you ask me to
Plan my life around someone who may never come
And yes this is the sunnah
We should aim to get married young
But its obligatory to fulfill the rights
My rights and his neither do I know
And to make marriage my goal, to make it
More than an institution to make it a home
In degrees it is fine but isn't it out of line
To expect of him but not yourself

This blanket of false security
That his beard will swish you into piety
Is overlooking responsibility
By all means get married
If you have the means
If you know what it means
If your priority is the deen
But don't imply to me that I should refrain
From all things worldly in attempt to regain some piety
Because apparently my focus is my career as
I have dared to apply to university

You don't know me or my circumstance. Neither do you care for me of my circumstance. And I write to advise others this unhealthy of obsession with becoming a trophy wife is just that unhealthy.


Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision.
Surah An nur

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "When a person gets married he has completed half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the remaining half."
authenticated by Al-Albani

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah

"The seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim."
Al-Tirmidhi

NB *Marriage shouldn't be delayed for education as married life should not interfere with education as such. I was merely pointing out a trend in stopping education prematurely with the vague hope of getting married despite having no proposal/means to get married

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    1. 100% agree. And don't worry sis things will work out . I mean think about Khadija wasn't she 40 years old when she married the prophet peace be upon him . Its moments like this in life you worry a little and then give it a few years time you'll just be saying subhanAllah over and over to yourself and wondering how you could have doubted Allahs wisdom for even a second. I'll make dua for you sis InshAllah things will work out.

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