I don't want to write poetry about you because you're not even that poetic.
I don't want to think about our impromptu meeting today because you are gone save unpleasant memories.
I don't want to be shaking but it is so hard to stop.
I want to be able to talk to you like a normal person and not feel as if I am lying to my soul.
I want to ignore all that has happened but how when he is standing right next to you.
I want to know that all these words and thoughts and feelings , these little tidbits of advice, random stories , my entire life this past year , all the random things that reminded me of you, every half formed apology , every Monday morning epiphany will somehow be conveyed to you, that in some strange and remarkable way ,just by the look on my face, you will understand what is heaving in this here chest.
And I want you to stop shaking your leg. I want us to finally be able to sit and talk, without that horrible strung tension, of avoiding the elephant in the room. I want peace for you .
I wish that I could say "Assalamu Alaikum Wa rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu" to you and that these almost wasted years could be a testimony to its truth.