Friday, 23 November 2012

Unlike Fridays

I don't want to write poetry about you because you're not even that poetic.
I don't want to think about our impromptu meeting today because you are gone save unpleasant memories.
I don't want to be shaking but it is so hard to stop.

I want to be able to talk to you like a normal person and not feel as if I am lying to my soul.
I want to ignore all that has happened but how when he is standing right next to you.
I want to know that all these words and thoughts and feelings , these little tidbits of advice, random stories , my entire life this past year , all the random things that reminded me of you, every half formed apology , every Monday morning epiphany will somehow be conveyed to you, that in some strange and remarkable way ,just by the look on my face, you will understand what is heaving in this here chest.

And I want you to stop shaking your leg. I want us to finally be able to sit and talk, without that horrible strung tension, of avoiding the elephant in the room. I want peace for you .

I want...

I wish that I could say "Assalamu Alaikum Wa rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu" to you and that these almost wasted years could be a testimony to its truth.


  1. The sheer earnestness and compassion in your words makes me want to just give you a big hug dear sister. I pray that your dreams will come true and that it will all fall into place by the grace of the Turner of the Hearts.

    1. Jazakallahu Khairun.
      In some regards I had to force myself to write this but even then it was only about 8 hours later that everything really sunk in.

      Allah truly is the turner of hearts and to him belongs the most beautiful of names.

  2. It's real. No pointless, attractive words or half-hearted, impressive string of letters.
    Love it.
    My only suggestion is to proof-read your work. The raw emotion that you try to articulate isn't embodied in your writing. It seems a little sloppy; punctuate properly or get rid of any hint of grammar and punctuation. You don't want that ideal reader to think that even when emotional, you couldn't be bothered enough to read through your work before posting.

    1. Jazakallahu Khairun sis for your comment.
      I think I need to sleep on it before I post it. I read this post a lot of times before I published it and it sounded okay in my head but having read it again now, I see exactly what you mean.
      By the way your comment made me smile a lot, it reminded me of that hadith- 'Allah has mandated excellence in all things'so jazakallahu khairun again for the advice.